“For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light, for light produces every kind of goodness and righteousness and truth. Try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the fruitless works of darkness; rather expose them, for it is shameful even to mention the things done by them in secret; but everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for everything that becomes visible is light.” Ephesians 5: 8-14 (NABRE)
“You were darkness once, but now you are light in the Lord; behave as children of light, for the effects of the light are seen in complete goodness and uprightness and truth. Try to discover what the Lord wants of you, take no part in the futile works of darkness but, on the contrary, show them up for what they are. The things which are done in secret are shameful even to speak of; but anything shown up by the light will be illuminated and anything illuminated is itself a light.” Ephesians 5: 8-14 (NJB)
When I was a little girl, we were not allowed to leave the dinner table until we finished our supper. It was quite hard to finish it when it was a dish I did not like. So, I would wait until everyone at the dinner table had left and then I would put what was in my plate back into the pot. I have since then told my mother I used to do that. It is a little secret that I do not mind sharing now and we can both a have a little laugh about it.
In our lives, however, we might have deeper and darker secrets that we think will never see the light, because we will never tell another soul (apart the priest in confession of course). I was talking with Cameron a while ago about how once we get into heaven, E–V–E–R–Y–T–H–I–N–G will be brought to light. He shared how there is a fear of being exposed completely naked to God with ALL of our secrets. This might be the case for you too. However, that is not the part of the conversation that I got stuck on. I know God sees EVERTHING, therefore he knows me COMPLETELY. Even the darkest parts of myself (the secrets I will never tell anyone else but Him). I, however, never realised that what is meant in the bible passage “but everything exposed by the light becomes visible” means that EVERYONE in heaven will be able to see it too. I just mentally screamed again. For me, there is a fear of others seeing those secrets of mine. All the little things I have done/thought in secret will be EXPOSED to EVERYONE.
This made me uncomfortable because it made me think of a particular situation. It might not seem like a big deal; however, I would not want this to come to light (to the person). Basically, I told someone that I forgave them regarding something, fully wanting to, but in reality, as I later noticed, I had not forgiven them yet. This person is a very loving friend, and in my head (because I have not forgiven them and come to peace with it) I have made them out to be the enemy. Knowing that one day (if we both get to heaven) they will actually be able to SEE this makes me restless. I do not want them to see that, after they were repentant and thought I had forgiven them, I still had pain which later turned into anger. Obviously, I did this to myself, but it is just something I would NEVER want them to know. This realisation has opened my eyes to see in a new way how everything (every single detail of our lives) is important.
Let us not take for granted the time we have on earth; let us be aware of our thoughts, actions and its consequences. Yes, we have weaknesses and sin, but just because some of them are hidden from the eyes of others, does not mean we should sit on them and ignore them. I have been convicted with the fact that I have let myself get to the point I currently am in: mad and not having forgiven. In heaven, all this will no longer be an issue, the person will see it and not feel hurt about it. However, I do not want to wait until then to deal with this situation. I also want to be more diligent about my thoughts and actions. I have been convicted more than ever to strive for holiness in everything I say, do, and think.
Mariana Sierra Alonso